"Stop Trying to Cope With Everything" Why Reducing Sensory Overload Is a Strategy, Not a Weakness

One of the things I hear surprisingly often during autism assessments is someone saying,

"I know I should just get on with it."

They are talking about bright supermarkets, busy offices, crowded waiting rooms or noisy family gatherings. They know that other people seem able to cope with these environments and they have often spent years trying to do the same.

Many have become very good at pushing themselves through situations that leave them exhausted.

The difficulty is that coping and coping well are not always the same thing.

Over time, I have come to believe that one of the most helpful changes many autistic people can make is to stop measuring success by how much discomfort they can tolerate.

Instead, it can be far more useful to ask a different question.

"Is there a better way of doing this?"

You Don't Have to Win Every Battle

Many autistic adults tell me that they spent years trying to prove they could manage situations that they actually found incredibly difficult.

They forced themselves into noisy restaurants.

They attended every social event.

They tolerated uncomfortable clothing because they didn't want to seem different.

Eventually, many realised that they were spending enormous amounts of energy simply trying to appear as though everything was fine.

That energy has to come from somewhere.

Often it comes at the expense of work, relationships or emotional wellbeing.

Small Adjustments Can Have a Big Impact

When people hear the words "reasonable adjustment", they sometimes imagine major changes.

In reality, the most helpful strategies are often very small.

Shopping earlier in the morning when supermarkets are quieter.

Using noise-cancelling headphones while travelling.

Taking a short walk between meetings.

Choosing a quieter table in a restaurant.

Wearing clothing that feels comfortable rather than fashionable.

Leaving ten minutes earlier to avoid rushing.

None of these changes alter who you are.

They simply reduce unnecessary demands on your brain.

Energy Is a Limited Resource

One idea I often discuss with patients is thinking about energy as though it were a battery.

Every sensory challenge, unexpected change or demanding social interaction uses a little of that battery.

If you spend the morning coping with a busy commute, a noisy office and several meetings, it's hardly surprising that you have less energy available later in the day.

Recognising this isn't pessimistic.

It's realistic.

Once you understand where your energy is being used, you can make more informed decisions about where you want to spend it.

Recovery Is Part of the Plan

Many people think about rest as something that happens after everything else is finished.

For autistic people, recovery often needs to be part of the plan from the beginning.

If you know that a family gathering will be demanding, perhaps you avoid arranging another busy activity immediately afterwards.

If work involves constant interaction with other people, perhaps you spend part of your lunch break somewhere quiet.

Planning recovery time is not avoiding life.

It's helping yourself remain well enough to enjoy it.

Let Go of Unhelpful Comparisons

One of the hardest things for many people is comparing themselves with those around them.

"Everyone else seems fine."

"Why can't I manage this?"

The difficulty with these thoughts is that they assume everyone is having the same experience.

They aren't.

Someone else may genuinely find the environment easy.

You may be processing far more sensory information than they are.

Comparing yourself with somebody whose brain works differently is rarely helpful.

The more useful comparison is with yourself.

What helps you function at your best?

A Final Thought

One of the biggest shifts I see after an autism diagnosis is when people stop judging themselves by how much discomfort they can tolerate.

Instead, they begin building a life that works with their brain rather than constantly asking their brain to adapt to everything around it.

That doesn't mean avoiding every challenge.

Life will always involve situations that require flexibility.

But it does mean recognising that there is a difference between unnecessary struggle and meaningful growth.

Some of the most successful autistic people I have met are not those who force themselves to cope with every environment.

They are the ones who understand themselves well enough to know when to adapt the environment instead.

In my experience, that isn't giving up.

It's good self-care.


Dr James Glass
MBChB MRCPsych
Medical Director, WMI Psychiatry